New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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