WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's the barista slut.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
