I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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