You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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