porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
