omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
