after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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