the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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