Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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