I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
