Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
