She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
