I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
