Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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