Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
