Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He felt like a one man threesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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