I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
