i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
