Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
