shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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