i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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