i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
ttyl tear gas
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
