Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
