So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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