based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
