i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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