she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
