Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
