Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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