is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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