How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
