It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
