Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
