you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
