Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
