I've blown a few things in my day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
