Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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