This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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