i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Are we still banned from the library?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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