Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
