Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
