Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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