..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
