allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
