respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
