Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
