I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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