He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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