Buhtt sex?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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