I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
