Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well you can't waste a boner
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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