oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
