First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
