Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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