We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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