I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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