Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
be right there i have to get my cape
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
