i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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